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Best lines from Yelp reviews of BYU

A staff compilation of the best lines from reviews of Brigham Young University on the social review site Yelp.

1. “Honestly wasn’t crazy about my time at school here; I was very happy to graduate and never looked back. I’m one of those who thinks college is a waste of money. I’ll take the school of hard knocks over the institution any day.” -Jason P., Fort Lauderdale, FL

2. Just send your mail to BYU, Provo, UT — no need for anymore address. Every mailman in the state knows where this large campus is located! …And you do NOT have to be Mormon to attend school here. What you do need is patience and tolerance for others viewpoints. Education comes first, but a little religion will be thrown into the mix. Just say “thanks, but no” and you will get a wonderful education without the choir. …I have a friend who is a tenured professor here who could teach the socks off a mouse. …Just a tidbit: I swear most of the students here are blond and beautiful. Men and women! That is one of the first things that hit me – ‘OMG this is where all the models go to school!’ -Rachel C., Phoenix, AZ

3. Coffee here is the devil’s nectar. Too bad. The Church forgot you can’t survive a trek across the frozen prairie without hot drink. Yea, they drank coffee. They used to even teach that in religion classes. It kept the Mormon pioneers alive. …The rules are killer sometimes, agreed, but it’s about the education. And if you do get the urge to break some rules get yourself into an NCAA sport. As with every school, team members live by a different set of rules. So, pick a sport, tell your ecclesiastical leader you’ll cherish the opportunity to convert your dorm mates to Christianity and apply. …And if you really need to be at a party school, like anything illicit, you just have to know where to look for the party. Then, like the boys on Craigslist, these days you live your day life at school then go wild after sunset — in BYU-approved housing of course. …I had friends back in the day whose parents prayed every day, ‘Dear heavenly father please just let him graduate!’ BYU Blue forever!” – Steven K., Salt Lake City, UT

4. “First-rate schooling, second-rate tolerance. …A crazy campus where beards are banned, moustaches permitted, liberals ostracised, curfews enforced, and an artificial housing monopoly drains cash-strapped students who just want to get their degree and get as far away as possible.” -Chris H., Provo, UT

5. “I had been raised Mormon, but found the tenor of this university to be even ‘more’ Mormon than Mormonism itself. Rules were forced upon the students that were unusual: no shorts above the knee; males were not allowed to have stubble/facial hair/piercings; opposite-gendered students were prohibited from living together. As one might imagine, homosexuality was forbidden. When I came out in my second quarter, I was — surprisingly — accepted by most of my peers, but not the administration. Fortunately, I was the president of my dormitory and something of a campus celebrity, and so none of the shady midnight expulsion sort of thing happened to me. The environment at BYU made me feel like something that was unchangable was changable, and because of that, I struggled for many years before finally accepting myself. For that, one star is all I can muster for a school that otherwise offers excellent education. Moral of the story: For parents thinking their child will embrace BYU simply because they’re Mormon, think again.” – Allen R., Chicago, IL

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Mystic Maggie

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