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Biogenesis clinic listed on Yelp, featuring some humorous reviews

Not surprisingly, several of the fake Yelp reviews hinted at A-Rod.
Not surprisingly, several of the fake Yelp reviews hinted at A-Rod. (USATSI)

More Biogenesis: A-Rod, Cruz, Peralta among those suspended | One of biggest MLB scandals

With all the Biogenesis-related suspensions handed down Monday, we’re almost done with having to deal with new developments regarding the former “anti-aging” clinic in Florida — as it’s now out of business. All that’s left is the appeal of Alex Rodriguez and, of course, comic relief.

And it’s in the case of the latter that we stumble upon the Yelp (a review site) page for Biogenesis of America. There are seven reviews in English, most of which are obviously jokes and a few that reference Alex Rodriguez.

For example:

When my friend Alex from New York told me of some great results he’s had, I new I had to go see Tony and the fellas at Biogenesis. Best decision I ever made!

#yolked #swoll #beast #guns #cannons #muscles #juice

This one is less transparent:

I was looking at being cut outright and was considering fishing for a coaching job in the South Atlantic League.

Tried BofA and now I got a contract extension and at least 2 more years in the Show.

How does this one stand out? Because it was given by “Kenny F’n Power S.” Or, rather, Kenny Powers of HBO’s comedy, “Eastbound and Down” that depicts a disgraced former pitcher and his journey back to the bigs.

Considering this was posted July 31 — well after the clinic had closed — here’s another fake:

I was having a sophomore slump on my high school baseball team . So halfway through the season , I had enough of it . I went here the employees were very helpful . They gave me some stuff that guaranteed to improve my batting average . Halfway through the season I batted .182 and after this I ended up hitting .465 being selected to the all county team ! Thanks Biogenesis of America . I hope to make to the pros one day .

And finally, another shot at A-Rod:

At 64 years old, I thought my baseball days were well behind me but thanks to the “weight loss” products I got from the guys down at Biogenesis, I’m a bulked up power hitter. Coincidentally, the NY Yankees just found an extra $27,000,000 in their salary budget. Wish me luck, baby, I’m Bronx bound!

I feel like there’s potential for better out there, but these will do for now.

Hat-tip: Jesse Spector

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Mystic Maggie

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