Yelp Reviews on Life

Mar 22, 2013

in category

0 likes

1,770 views

Much like chocolate and peanut butter, Mork and Mindy, Jack and Coke, certain things just belong together. Which is why it’s about time that the following forces unite to illuminate mankind and existence: “Yelp reviews” and “life.” That’s right! Why should Yelp reviews be limited to helping us praise or degrade restaurants and laundromats? Why should we continue to rake over the “Why are we here?” question when John and Jane Doe can log-in and rate the human experience from their basement with the click of a button? The answer: We should all have the freedom to Yelp review the sh*t out of anything!

These Yelp reviews on life will serve as the online time capsule to show future generations that “Wow, either the human race never learned to spell or they were just so badass they didn’t care!” Either way, it’s time to expand the power of our Yelp capabilities. We would be doing a disservice to our progeny if we didn’t let them know that their 20’s will only rate about two stars.

Have a Jungian archetype you want to extrapolate on? Yelp it! Want to enlighten your fellow humans on how living on this big blue sphere blows? Yelp it! The choice is yours and the time is now.

After much tallying,* the following reviews were chosen as some of the “top” Yelp reviews on life.* Here they are in no particular life-illuminating order:

There was no tallying.
Yelp.com had nothing to do with this.

Yelp Reviews on Life

Refused to serve me because I was drunk.

It’s like a piñata of Ed Hardy exploded and showered the earth with cocaine-fueled panthers. DEFINITELY going back.

Tried it out because of a Groupon and was pleasantly surprised.

Ok I never rite reveiws, but seriously this place sux! Had to wait in line two long and there bathroom was hella nasty. Dont even wanna give one star but it makes me. More like one terd!